You Are My I Love You..

In 2004 I was blessed with the opportunity to become the mother of a beautiful, perfect baby girl.  From infancy I look back and reflect on Olivia's baby years as being fairly easy, minor bumps in the parenting road, but nothing I truly can even remember as I type this post.  She loved to play on the floor with her toys, as long as I was in sight she was content.  I was able to push her around in a stroller just about to age three.  Olivia started sleeping through the night at 4 months, and was easy to potty train, plus ween off a pacifier.  Since Olivia was my first child she was all I had to base my parenting meter on, and for the most part I was pleased with how it was going.  She was very cautious, and such a great rule follower.  I was able to dress her in anything I desired, any take her to many funtions that required stillness, and quite with very little worries (restaurant, church, weddings, etc.)  I guess in my seriously jaded motherly eyes Olivia was perfectly perfect.  On Olivia's first birthday she received a book titled You Are My I Love You, it was so adorable. My absolute favorite page was ... I am your carrot sticks; you are my licorice.  I am your dandelion you are my first wish.  The entire book compares the clam responsible parent to the fun loving excited child., how they both balance each other out.  I loved loved, loved, the book Olivia and I read it quite frequently, however I did find myself questioning if some of these examples depict the relationship Olivia and I were forming.  I am your quiet place; you are my wild.  I am your calm face; you are my giggle.  I am your wait you are my wiggle.  Even though I absolutely adored the book, and I enjoyed all the examples of parent vs. child I didn't quite see Olivia and I matching up to many of the fun loving examples. 

Then in 2008 I was anxious / worried  to become a mother of a boy.  I have to admit during most of my pregnancy I walked around in a lot of how will I?? what will I do?? monments.  " How can I be a good mother to a boy, I am so girlie?  Will they be close siblings due to the gender differences?  Will this child and I be able to relate?  One thing I didn't have to worry about was buying all new clothes, oh my gosh between Avery, Addison, Luke, and Finn, Brody is set for his childhood years.  He has a mass variety of clothing that would make any teenage girl green with envy.  One day during one of my worrying spells Heather said something to me that I think about daily and also apply it to other areas of my life.  " Holly God gives you what you can handle" and I promise the second you hold him in your arms, and smell his sweet smell it will be all over you will become head over heels in love with your boy, and just like your girl never want to be away from him for a second.  I am happy to report my sister couldn't have been more right... (I barely ever say that so I hope I get brownie points for that comment!) But I do have to say even though my excitement level and love for Brody was right on with how I felt for Olivia something was different.  As Brody started developing a personality ( three months old !) I couldn't help but notice how different my two children were.  I always tell people if I were to write a parenting book based on my parenting skills regarding Olivia, I would just throw that book away for how to parent Brody.  He was always on the go (started walking at 10 months,  scary ahhhh).  Got into everything and anything ( hello child safety devices I never even thought of).  Wanted to be held all the time, I think he has sat in his stroller maybe five times, and I am sure I am exaggerating.  I was developing quite a few parenting hypercritical moments with Brody (which Heather has no problem bringing to my attention any time she sees a window of opertunity).  The one major example that sticks out; even though I am sure there are many more ( all I would have to do is call Heather) are ...  I would sit or walk somewhere with my precious Olivia holding my hand, never wondering, thigh leaching, or nicely sitting in a shopping cart,  little girl.  So when I saw parents with those back pack leashes I was appalled.  I would say not only to myself but out loud how horrible that was, and why couldn't they control their child!!!   I went to this outdoor concert with him when he was about 18 months old and I thought he was just sitting on the blanket near Olivia; come to find out he was three families down trying to get a V.I.P invitation to a slice of pizza.  He hated the stroller, and was rapidly becoming to big for his carrier, holding my hand happened few and far between, and he had zero problem just taking off without any regard to the fact I wasn't even ready to move.  So what could a mother do??? We tried out the leash / backpack (wink, wink) at an arts festival in Fountain Hills and I have to admit for the most part it worked very well.  When we took the  leash on vacation with us to Lego Land, and with the minor exception of him freaking out if Olivia held it.  It too, become a wonderful not completely stressed running around like a chicken with her head cut off type of day. One night around the time Brody was nearing the age of two I found the You Are My I Love You Book from Olivia's book shelf, and became excited to share the book with Brody.  As I started reading it I could feel myself becoming quite emotional, and was unable to hold back my tears.  It hit me like a ton of bricks Brody was a perfect, I mean right on depiction of this book...I am your quiet place; you are my wild.  I am your wait; you are my wiggle.  I am your water wings; you are my deep and so on.

 I had finally figured out what Heather had meant when she said " God only gives you what you can handle" Olivia was my calm and cautious baby, where Brody is my crazy never slowing down, be ready for anything baby.  I thought to myself how perfect Olivia grounds me, and I am able to cuddle with her, read books together, so on and so on, but on the other hand Brody keeps me always guessing, on the go, being goofy, laughing daily, and best of all brings out my inner child.  With Olivia I have my practicality part of myself, and with Brody I have my crazy wild like self. How perfect I feel.  From that point on I couldn't help but beam with happiness that I wouldn't have it any other way.  Even though Olivia is my rule follower, by the book sort of girl which I most defiantly need in my life.  Brody may require more discipline but he makes each day a new adventure, I just never know or mostly am ready for what he is going to dish out, I just love it.  I sleep very well at the end of the day with Brody with a couple "  You wouldn't believe what Brody said or did today" thoughts to laugh about.  At the end of the day with Olivia I am thankful for her trustworthiness, and just all around great character.  Thank you Lord so very much for giving me the opportunity to parent both of these amazing children, I am humbly greatful, and seriously without doubt wouldn't want it any other way!!!!!